Vinnie's Tomb Chapter One

Vinnie's Tomb, Chapter One - The Road To Vinnie's Tomb (for lack of a better title) was a computer game released by Reldni Productions.

Development

Version 2.0

Reldni Productions is pleased to announce that Vinnie's Tomb Chapter One has finally been updated.

The game now has a pass code feature, so you don't have to start from the beginning of the game each time you play!

This version DOES NOT use or require the Microsoft Internet Explorer browser.

"Vinnie's Tomb, Chapter One - The Road To Vinnie's Tomb (for lack of a better title) Version 2.0" is now available. It is only 7.0 MB. It features amusing graphics and stunning sound. The game is free for downloading. It requires no registration. It is not available in stores. The game requires Windows '95. Vinnie's Tomb can be easily uninstalled after you realize it's a waste of disk space.

Transcript

The following is a complete and verbatim transcript of the game.

Welcome to Vinnie's Tomb

Are you ready for an incredible action game with stunning graphics and sound? How about spectacular 3D animation that puts "Duke Nukem 3D" and "Descnet" [sic] to shame? With Vinnie's Tomb, you'll experience first hand, the game you were not looking for. Vinnie's Tomb pales in comparison to "Duke Nukem" and many other favorite popular games! We hope however, you'll find a fun filled adventure that will amuse you for at least two minutes.

In the game, you take on the role of Vinnie the pierrot. You are on a journey to find the forbidden treasure of Ernie York. It is allegedly buried in your Great Great Great Great Not So Great Grandfather's electronic store. Long ago the store was converted into a tomb. Your Great Great Great Great Not So Great Grandfather was also named Vinnie. This is just one of the trivialities of the wonderfully splendid game we call "Vinnie's Tomb PART ONE (The Road to Vinnie's Tomb)". As you can see Reldni Productions lacks imagination when it comes to software titles. You'll probably have to read this introduction several times to make any sense of it.

A long time ago, or perhaps not, you learn that multimillionaire Ernie York kept a large sum of valuable electronic surveillance equipment and cryogenic hardware at an electronic store. This happened to be the same electronic store where your Great Great Great Great Not So Great Grandfather worked at. Fifty-nine years ago the store was transformed into a tomb. No one really remembers why.

Recently you received an anonymous phone call from an anonymous caller. The caller told you that your Great Great Great Great Not So Great Grandfather Vinnie was entombed by the local SZC (Sinister Zebra committee). Being a gullible idiot, you believed the caller.

Everyone in the world knows about the legend of Vinnie's tomb, except for the people who don't know about it. Now you must find the utter horrible truth! You'll meet bizarrely sketched creatures and pick up desirable objects during your quest to find Vinnie's Tomb. It's a lot of fun, we hope.

Scene One

JUSTIN CRYBABY THE NARRATOR: If you get distressed at any time, just remember: It's only a game!

That's Sad Ethel, the sea beastie [sic] of Edmonton. (When you examine the sea monster)

You now have a magnet! (When you pick up the magnet)

Scene Two

You collect a sword (When you pick up the sword)

OH NO! The bridge collapsed! (When you failed to cross the bridge)

The bridge has collapsed! Fortunately, you have made it to the other side safely. (After successfully crossing the bridge)

Scene Three

Passcode: ALVIN

You have entered the underworld and completed Scene Three (When you enter the black hole)

Bonus Scene

Walk Slowly and Past The Hidden Death Traps

Scene Four

You enter the underworld...

NARRATOR: You gently ride on a cushion of air to the underworld.  You do not have to wander far until you reach two party-bots.  These stationary robots had been fused together to guard and protect.  They were programmed to throw pies at anyone entering the underworld during the war with the drunken eyed sailors of moldville.  The war has been over for years and Underworld has become a wealthy metropolis.  Inside the underworld city lies many lucrative franchises and taco stands.  You know that your journey most likely lies around the outskirts of the Underworld city.  Therefore, you will not have an opportunity to sample the fine dining establishments.

Hi this is Justin Crybaby again for Vinnie's Tomb, I'm gonna be the narrator. Hope you enjoy the game. I certainly don't. Uh, I mean, it's great, yeah!

PARTY-BOTS: Welcome to the Underworld! You can get keen bargains on assorted undergarments.

VINNIE: That sounds just fine. I'm trying to find the key to Vinnie's tomb. Can you help?

PARTY-BOTS: The key is rumored to have been hidden with the ancient Tibetan handkerchief.

VINNIE: Where should I start looking?

PARTY-BOTS: There's an old queer snake who lives in a pile of garbage. He may be able to help. He's not far from here.

VINNIE: Thank you. I'll try to find him.

Scene Five

(This is about as scary as it gets. Enjoy it.)

You now have the skull that oozes blood intermittently. (After using the magnet on the wall and getting the skull behind it)

Scene Six

(This game has nothing to do with Maurice Chevalier.)

VINNIE: You must be the queer snake that the party-bots told me about.

THE SNAKE WITH THE BLUE BASEBALL CAP: Actually my brother is the queer one.

VINNIE: Where is he?

THE SNAKE: He went to Las Vegas for a gig. He's bigger than Wayne Newton.

VINNIE: Very interesting. I'm looking for a key to Vinnie's Tomb.

THE SNAKE: The key is with me. I'm keeping it for him. When he gets back from Vegas, he plans to find Vinnie's Tomb himself.

VINNIE: Would you consider selling or trading the key?

THE SNAKE: Sorry. It belongs to my brother. I cannot give it up without his permission.

You now have the glittery diamond. (When you pick up the diamond)

You now have an overripe banana. (When you pick up the banana)

When you try to kill the snake with the sword:

THE SNAKE: Are you threatening me? Please go away before I lick you with my forked tongue.

When you try to trade the key for the magnet for the snake:

VINNIE: Will you trade the key for this magnet?

THE SNAKE: That's a nifty magnet. However, I don't think I need one. The answer is no.

When you try to trade the key for the skull, that oozes blood intermittently for the snake:

VINNIE: Will you trade the key for this skull that oozes blood intermittently?

THE SNAKE: I vaguely recall my brother mentioning something about a skull. I better not make the trade though.

When you try to trade the key for the diamond for the snake:

VINNIE: Will you trade the key for this diamond?

THE SNAKE: No, diamonds are worthless in Underworld. Why do you think it was lying in the garbage?

When you try to trade the key for the diamond for the snake:

VINNIE: Will you trade the key for this banana?

THE SNAKE: What do I look like? I'm a snake, not a monkey.

Scene Seven

The diamond is stuck. (When you try to pick up the diamond)

You pry the glittery diamond from the hole with the sword. (When you use the sword on the diamond)

You enter Fun Land and complete Scene Seven

Scene Eight

Passcode: LALAL

VINNIE: Why do you guys look so sad? I thought this place was Fun Land.

FUN LAND ALIENS: That is the cruel irony.

VINNIE: Why are you so sad?

FUN LAND ALIENS: We just found out that Donny Osmond canceled his gig here. That's only part of it though.

VINNIE: Tell me more.

FUN LAND ALIENS: There is a monster who terrorizes us through the night.

VINNIE: That's terrible! Does he try and eat you?

FUN LAND ALIENS: No. He tells horrible one liners and sings show tunes.

VINNIE: That doesn't seem too bad.

FUN LAND ALIENS: He sounds like Leonard Cohen and he sings at three o'clock in the morning.

VINNIE: That is bad.

CAPTION: You would like to ask the sad guys about Vinnie's Tomb, but they appear too upset to answer any questions.

The alien space ship is suspended high in the sky above Fun Land. (When you look at the UFO)

You now have a metal box. (When you pick up the metal box)

Scene Nine

THE INVISIBLE HORSE: Hello. How are you this fine morning?

VINNIE: Who is that? I can't see anyone there.

THE INVISIBLE HORSE: I'm an invisible horse.

VINNIE: Why are you invisible?

THE INVISIBLE HORSE: The designer of this game can't draw horses.

VINNIE: The designer can't draw at all.

THE INVISIBLE HORSE: Would you like to see how I look?

VINNIE: Not really, but go ahead.

THE INVISIBLE HORSE: {becomes visible} What do you think?

VINNIE: I think you should stay invisible.

THE INVISIBLE HORSE: I guess you're right.

VINNIE: Do you know anything about Vinnie's Tomb?

THE INVISIBLE HORSE: According to legend it's a tomb where a clown named Vinnie and his band of chickens were buried twelve centuries ago.

VINNIE: The legend is wrong. There were no chickens.

THE INVISIBLE HORSE: Well, the chickens added some colour to the story.

VINNIE: I need the key to Vinnie's Tomb, but the snake will not part with it.

THE INVISIBLE HORSE: That does not matter. I have a dozen keys to Vinnie's Tomb.

VINNIE: You do?

THE INVISIBLE HORSE: Sure. That fool snake and his queer lounge king brother think they have a monopoly on Vinnie's Tomb keys. They don't know that I have amassed a collection of them along with expensive trinkets from the Franklin mint.

VINNIE: Would you please give me a key?

THE INVISIBLE HORSE: I'll give you one for five hundred dollars.

VINNIE: I don't have any money.

THE INVISIBLE HORSE: Then you better get a job.

VINNIE: Where can I find a job?

THE INVISIBLE HORSE: There aren't any jobs here in Fun Land.

VINNIE: This is most irritating.

THE INVISIBLE HORSE: Wait a minute. There is a handsome reward out for the capture of that loud mouthed beast.

VINNIE: What loud mouthed beast?

THE INVISIBLE HORSE: The one that keeps us up all night singing 'Climb every Mountain' and 'Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man'.

VINNIE: I have heard of this monster already. I guess I'll have to find him.

THE INVISIBLE HORSE: Good luck. You're going to need it.

You now have a pair of cool shades. You wonder why you keep finding things just lying around. (When you pick up sunglasses)

Scene Ten

THE SINGING BEAST: {sleeping} Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

VINNIE: Excuse me? Are you sleeping?

THE SINGING BEAST: {awake} I'm awake now, thanks to you.

VINNIE: You look very tired.

THE SINGING BEAST: What do you expect? I've been singing and dancing all night long.

VINNIE: Are you the monster that keeps everyone awake at night?

THE SINGING BEAST: Yes. What are you going to do about it?

VINNIE: It's very rude of you to keep everyone in Fun Land up at night.

THE SINGING BEAST: I don't care. It's my nature to sing, dance and tell jokes at night.

VINNIE: Why?

THE SINGING BEAST: Why do you think? I'm a nocturnal kind of beast.

VINNIE: Do you know anything about Vinnie's Tomb?

THE SINGING BEAST: Sure. I wrote a song about it. Do you want to hear it?

VINNIE: I guess so.

THE SINGING BEAST: Then leave me alone, and come back tonight. I'll sing it for you then.

VINNIE: I want to hear it now.

THE SINGING BEAST: Listen, you little punk. I've had about enough of you! Wait a minute. I'll give you a CD of the song. You can hear it anytime.

VINNIE: Thanks, but I don't have a CD player.

THE SINGING BEAST: That's tough. Go away.

You now have a the compact disc. (When you pick up the CD)

When you try to stop the singing beast with the sword:

The Singing Beast Says … Please don't hurt me. I'll stop singing at night, if you leave me alone.

Word quickly spreads that you have stopped the beast from singing at night. After everyone in Fun Land has a good night's sleep, they give you a load of cash and a nicely written thank you note. You decide to use the money to buy the key from the ill conceived horse. On the way to the horse's newly constructed hay shack and rib joint you meet a frog on welfare. Still feeling like a philanthropist, you foolishly give the frog most of your money. Fortunately, you still have enough to buy a pair of underwear and cheese. (You'll get a pair of underwear, cheese and the $500 bag)

You decide to buy a lottery ticket with your last dollar. Fun Land is a peachy place. You find that the creatures there are really kind and decent. You meet a monster snail who lets you stay at his hotel free of charge. In the morning you are informed that the singing beast has moved to Australia. He will be performing at the opera house one month a week. You're glad he made out okay. You are delighted when you win five hundred dollars in the lottery. You rush to find the horse and buy the key.

Scene Eleven

You buy the key from the horse. You now have the key to Vinnie's Tomb! (When you give the $500 money bag to the horse)

Scene Twelve

Passcodes:

• Without sunglasses on and the eight ball removed from the metal box: METTA
• Without sunglasses on and the eight ball inside the metal box: NETTA
• With the sunglasses on and the eight ball removed from the metal box: RETTA
• With sunglasses on and the eight ball inside the metal box: SETTA

Travelling for thirty more days you come to a cliff. You realise you are desperately lost. You need to find a way to rise above Underworld and continue your exciting adventure. Suddenly a nasty creature jumps from behind you! It pushes you off the cliff!

{the monster pushes of the cliff and the death sting play}

Oddly enough you did not die. Instead, you landed on a strategically placed mountain of breakfast cereal.

{train whistles}

You discover a nearby train station. You hop aboard the train bound for an unknown destination.

Being a low budget game, we could not afford a real train, so you'll have to imagine it.

Scene Thirteen

(Join the vinnie's Tomb fan club.)

You Read The Book … To cross the pit use the sphere of light. It rests on the other side. You must wake it if you can. Then you can get a ride.

You find an eight ball in the box. (When you open the box)

You stretch the underwear over the forked stick in the ground. Now you have a neato slingshot device. Wow, this is a cool game! (When you use the underwear on the forked stick)

You put the cool shades on. (When you use sunglasses)

OH NOES! You fall into the pit of fear and die! (When you try to jump over the pit)

The chasm is too wide. You cannot throw the eight ball that far. (When you try to throw the eight ball into the light orb without the slingshot)

Vinnie Dies! The Ball of light blinds you. Your eyes burn up and you stagger into the pit of the fear and die horribly. (When you are on the light orb without the sunglasses on)

You have crossed the pit of fear! (After crossing the pit with the light orb)

Scene Fourteen

VINNIE: Hello, is this the entrance to Vinnie's Tomb?

THE SINGLE-EYED CREATURE: Allegedly, yes. No one knows how to get in. There are no doorways.

VINNIE: The entrance must be a secret.

THE SINGLE-EYED CREATURE: I guess so.

VINNIE: What's this gray thing I'm standing in front of? It's shaped a bit like a tombstone.

THE SINGLE-EYED CREATURE: That is also a mystery. It is known as the big blood rock. Don't ask me why. I have to go now. It's time to watch the PBS pledge break. It's nice meeting you.

You crush the skull that oozes blood against the big blood rock. The big blood rock opens! (When you smash the skull against the big blood rock several times)

You have opened the main door to Vinnie's Tomb (When the door opened)

The glittery diamond has melted into the big blood rock. (When going to the next level)

Scene Fifteen

Have you had a complete breakfast today? (When you try to open the door without the key)

You try inserting the key into the keyhole. The key does not seem to fit! After a few more futile attempts, you realize that the horse may have tricked you. Perhaps, the snake brothers owned the only key to Vinnie's Tomb. You get so mad, that you kick the door. It creaks open. It must have been unlocked all the time.

Scene Seventeen

You use the CD to reflect the beam of light. It might not work in real life, but this is only a stupid game. (When you use the CD on the beam of light)

The door opens and you have completed Scene Seventeen. (When you finish the level)

You walk into the next room of the massive tomb. Suddenly you are attacked by a giant Dragollater! He snatches you in his teeth. You will most likely die!

TO BE CONTINUED

Thank you for playing Vinnie's Tomb. Be sure to continue the adventure with Vinnie's Tomb Chapter Two - Shine and Glow Vinnie.